The only way is up!

Well, I feel like I have hit the bottom again.

The positive side to that is there is only one way to go.  Up.

 Depression is not fun and there is no easy, quick fix.

The fact that I have no extended family nearby increases my feeling of isolation.

Heading into Winter also compounds my mood.  The wet, grey days chill me to the bone and seem to suck all energy and creativity from me.

I am not happy with my health and fitness levels, my parenting style, the lack of attention I give to my lovely man, nor my productivity, financial situation and physical surroundings...

There are a finite number of times I will be able to orbit our Sun and I feel like the last 37 times have been wasted, or at least not achieved their potential.

Accountability and motivation go hand in hand, right?

So I state as of now that I will improve every aspect of my life to give my family (and myself) the best life I can create, with who I am and what we have right here and right now.

So what is right here and now?

Here... is a falling-apart rental property in Sheffield, Tasmania.

Now... is a cold, rainy, Autumn day.

Where do I want to be? When and how will I get there?

Baby steps, baby steps.  One foot in front of the other, one improvement at a time, steady and consistent, that is how it will happen.  But where am I heading?

Big, medium and small goals are important to keep your eye on the prize, but also living a mindful life on the way is the key.  Appreciating the here and now is essential.  Stopping to smell the roses and being grateful for who we are and what we have is so necessary to living a fulfilling life and my journey starts now.

So, what do I have in my life that I am grateful for?

A partner who cares about me and loves me regardless.  Who tells me I look gorgeous first thing in the morning, when I am sporting wild bed hair and a look of confusion on my face.

Two beautiful, healthy children who trust me and love me and give the best cuddles in the world.

My wonderful purr-machine, and our cute little ratties that give me so much joy.

A roof over my head, a warm comfy bed, clean drinking water on tap, access to fresh fruit and vegetables, a government that provides me with a means to survive and care for my family, with affordable healthcare and schooling. 

I have a loving family and some wonderful friends.

Clean country air and picturesque surroundings with birdsong and distinct seasons where the leaves change colour and drop to the ground and snow settles on the mountaintops in the distance.

Living in a town where I am free from abuse, persecution, poverty and war.

I am lucky.

I am loved.