produce of productivity

due to the beautiful weather we have had this week 

I was coaxed out beyond the front stairs 

(which is the furthest I go most days).

seeing my shiny, clean steps and door

has made me smile every time I venture there.  

It has motivated me to keep going. 

on Sunday I mowed the yard. 

I always forget how much I love mowing. 

the instant gratification is always a winner,

but the lack of interruptions and being

left to my thoughts is an inner bonus.

now returning home is an even more smiley event 

with a tidy lawn and a clean doorstep.

happy happy!

as a result of mowing the grass super-short 

around my little vegetable plot I was motivated 

to continue with my outdoor adventures.

So, on Monday I laid down the new paths of

newspaper and sawdust for my vegie patch.

 returning home from the school drop-off on Tuesday, 

I noticed that ducking and weaving to avoid the camellia

 branches on the way to the front door was a bit bothersome.

weather was lovely.

crisp and clear.

out came the secateurs and long handled loppers...

I ended up pruning 4 very mature camellia 'bushes',

a mature old, Autumn-flowering rhododendron and a raggedy old greengage. 

inside for a cup of tea and a bite to eat, then out to tidy up.

...or so I thought.

 after putting my tools of mass destruction away I saw

 that my little, neglected, frost-damaged produce-plot 

looked very odd with a nice new path.

so I got to work!

 I dug up the last of the potatoes and okas,

removed my rotting zucchinis and stunted corn, 

turfed the tomatoes, dug over the gorgeous soil and 

transplanted some carrot and lettuce seedlings I had grown.

Hmmmm.... satisfied now?   

a resounding

YES!

sun salutation

it is interesting how the weather seems to have changed since I rebooted my blog.

since I decided to change my perspective and appreciate what I have 

instead of what I don't have, the sun has been warming my soul every day.

this has helped greatly with my mood!

thank you sun!!!!!

mindful moments

what a beautiful Autumn day!
clear blue sky and a delicious crispness in the air.

after the kids were ferried off to school and my lovely other had left for 

college this morning I wasn't really sure what to do with myself.

although yesterday was a productive day, having no clear 

goals or plan left me feeling a little deflated.

I had a drink of water, took my medication and grabbed a bowl of cereal

 to munch on while I searched the web for inspiration.

don't get me wrong here, there were a load of things that

 I SHOULD have been doing, but in the vagueness of my low

 mood and chaotic mental state, reality just seems to be on 

the other side of the bubble.

 I came across this blog again:

slow your home

it has an amazing list of 21 simple things to do to kick-start

 your way to a life of simplicity.

...which then led me to a TED talk by carl honore

although I know I should start with a list of some sort, 

I wasn't really in the head space for deep contemplation

 and soul searching, and because there is all sorts of clutter

 to be dealt with in our house, I decided to start on my 

own front doorstep, literally.

every time I come home lately, it depresses me.

the front door is covered in grubby marks and spiderwebs,

 steps have become filthy and covered with rotting autumn leaves. 

the screen door is turning green from mould.

I feel embarrassed to think that is the first impression of our home.

yes, we are renting.

yes, the house is in bad structural repair.

does that mean I shouldn't care?

does that mean I can't keep it clean?

does that mean I can't have pride in my home?

no.  elbow grease is free, after all.

besides, I want to set a good example for my chidren.

to appreciate our blessings and make the most of what we have.

I even had a moment of mindfulness.

I stopped scrubbing to listen to the warbles of the magpies. 

 it is my very favourite birdsong.

several buckets of hot soapy water later I realised that 

this might be my plan... for the house, anyway.

to maybe work my way through the house,

one square metre at a time.

there are a lot of things that don't belong in our

 front porch that I don't even notice anymore.

and it is the closest space to the door to get rid of stuff!

there are a lot of other facets in my life I want to improve upon.

hopefully they will come to me, as pleasantly as this one did!

a small success is still success...

tip-toeing forward, i have had a good day.

i got the kids to school early, with healthy lunches in their bags.

[photo credit]

i did four hours of study for my diploma of practice management.

[photo credit]

i made a yummy lentil stew with parmesan and pine nut dumplings for dinner.

[photo credit]

i drank plenty of water and brushed my teeth.

[photo credit]

i even finished hand-sewing the binding on my flower quilt. 

[photo credit]

i did not buy anything.

[photo credit]

hooray for small victories!

The only way is up!

Well, I feel like I have hit the bottom again.

The positive side to that is there is only one way to go.  Up.

 Depression is not fun and there is no easy, quick fix.

The fact that I have no extended family nearby increases my feeling of isolation.

Heading into Winter also compounds my mood.  The wet, grey days chill me to the bone and seem to suck all energy and creativity from me.

I am not happy with my health and fitness levels, my parenting style, the lack of attention I give to my lovely man, nor my productivity, financial situation and physical surroundings...

There are a finite number of times I will be able to orbit our Sun and I feel like the last 37 times have been wasted, or at least not achieved their potential.

Accountability and motivation go hand in hand, right?

So I state as of now that I will improve every aspect of my life to give my family (and myself) the best life I can create, with who I am and what we have right here and right now.

So what is right here and now?

Here... is a falling-apart rental property in Sheffield, Tasmania.

Now... is a cold, rainy, Autumn day.

Where do I want to be? When and how will I get there?

Baby steps, baby steps.  One foot in front of the other, one improvement at a time, steady and consistent, that is how it will happen.  But where am I heading?

Big, medium and small goals are important to keep your eye on the prize, but also living a mindful life on the way is the key.  Appreciating the here and now is essential.  Stopping to smell the roses and being grateful for who we are and what we have is so necessary to living a fulfilling life and my journey starts now.

So, what do I have in my life that I am grateful for?

A partner who cares about me and loves me regardless.  Who tells me I look gorgeous first thing in the morning, when I am sporting wild bed hair and a look of confusion on my face.

Two beautiful, healthy children who trust me and love me and give the best cuddles in the world.

My wonderful purr-machine, and our cute little ratties that give me so much joy.

A roof over my head, a warm comfy bed, clean drinking water on tap, access to fresh fruit and vegetables, a government that provides me with a means to survive and care for my family, with affordable healthcare and schooling. 

I have a loving family and some wonderful friends.

Clean country air and picturesque surroundings with birdsong and distinct seasons where the leaves change colour and drop to the ground and snow settles on the mountaintops in the distance.

Living in a town where I am free from abuse, persecution, poverty and war.

I am lucky.

I am loved.